Miss me? I sure miss you. I’ve been here almost two years, and I still look forward to my doctor’s visits as social occasions. I can always count on my gynecologist to show me a good time. She lowers her voice and asks me if I’m still getting my period. Yes, I say, regularly (I’m going for the Guinness Book of World Records). She hangs her head and shakes it back and forth, Oh honey, I’m so sorry. Don’t worry, it’ll be done soon. She then looks at my age and says wait until your 60. I know the routine now and follow with the obligatory, oh my, you don’t look 60. She actually doesn’t. She tells me how important it is to watch my weight and that you gain one pound a year every year over 40 if you’re not careful. And it’s impossible to lose she says. I hired a personal trainer back then who had me up at 5:30 a.m. walking around my pool, she says. It’s best if you exercise in the morning, you know, you burn more calories during the day. I’m five feet four –and- a half inches (my height too) and back then I weighed 140 pounds, she says. Well then, you look great. Keep it up. Thank you I say. Now I’ve said three words. I swear, she says, life does not get easier after 60. I’ve got my kids living back home with me and grandchildren too. Now I have to work harder when I thought I could retire. I know one day I’m going to be sitting here, and I’m going to drop over dead with my head in some woman’s crotch. I’m in position. Oh, please don’t die in my crotch I’m thinking. Trust me. She’s worth the price of admission.
You know there are all kinds of perks to being over fifty. You get free checks with your checking account. Funny how they always whisper these things to you. Even the bankers know my age. There ought to be some kind of law…..
Bunions of course. Damn I thought, guess I have to go to the podiatrist. He asks me how old I am. I say, doctor, I’m sure it’s in my chart, and I really don’t want to talk about it. He says he doesn’t have my chart. I tell him. Oh, he says, I thought you were in your 40’s. That doctor was worth the $60 deductible. He decides he’s going to throw in something extra and takes what looks like a mini circular saw to my calluses. I’m in love and eagerly make another appointment.
My cousin told me my ass looked higher. It’s the 51 steps to my office, I say. My aunt says, no it’s not. It’s not, I say. No, she says, it’s all that sex you’re having. She’s 79.
One of the young new PhD’s at work announced to Senior Stateswoman and I that she and her boyfriend decided we must have been HOTTIES back in the day. Back in the Day?! By the way, My Guy told me he loves my boobs and butt. Oh, thank God I think. And then says with all sincerity that he understands gravity and accepts that. Do I hug him or slap him? For the first time in my life I’m glad my boobs aren’t any bigger so they don’t have much more to fall. I am glad he told me this before he told me his ex-wife is blond, weighs 95 pounds, has breast implants and capped white teeth. Another Barbie. Who can compete with that? Yeah, well, I have real sagging boobs, so there!
Life goes on. I am still adjusting. What I realized is it takes a long time for a place to get deep into your soul. I also realized how my own rhythms are tied to the seasons and the land. I get up some days and think, okay, I made my point; I want to go home now. And at the same time I know in my heart I can’t. Here represents hope and a new vision.
I read about all the wonderful things you are doing. Keep it up and be well. Keep sending me updates. And please, please keep me in your hearts.
Goodnight from Greenville……
Much Love, Dyanne
Dyanne is an inner wisdom coach, psychotherapist, writer, mind-body healer, Integrative Yoga Therapy teacher, certified “Journal-to-the SELF” instructor and creator of https://www.holywhollyholey.comhelping women heal and step into their power. She is the author of the ebook, “Holey Path to Holy Living: A Women’s Path to Healing and Freeing Sacred Feminine Power,” which can be found on Amazon and on her websitehttps://www.amazon.com/Holey-Path-Holy-Living-Feminine-ebook/dp/B01MUI0OOJ/ref=sr_1_13?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1486652110&sr=1-13&keywords=holy+path
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