My Brother of Another Color last Friday said he was coming off of an on-call week and the first thing he was doing was getting a drink, and I could come if I wanted. Sure, I say, I’ll go with you. We meet close to my house and share a couple of drinks and begin chatting and getting to know one another better. He says we could go somewhere else, and I say, I can’t drive and SHOULD go home. He offers to drive. So off we go to meet his friend at this really SWANK bar. His friend is wearing a kind of golf hat. We go walking in, and the first thing I see is a young woman wearing a dress that looks like a Band-Aid wrapped around her thighs and a blousy top stuffed with big breasts and no halter. Obviously, I’m overdressed AGAIN. We meet BAC’s friend, another Black male, and they seat me in between them. We are an OREO COOKIE. I would like to say in this day and age that mixing the races doesn’t matter, but I could tell all eyes were on us as soon as we walked in the door. We are still in the South. My first little experience at what it’s like to be a minority in a majority culture.
Before long the young woman next to BAC was conveniently reaching across his lap. I asked him if he noticed anything. He said he did. She had a reason but I can’t remember what. We hang out and then decide to head home at just about the same time this older man around 70 stops and asks BAC where his hat is. BAC just smiled and said that his friend was wearing the hat. I would have been insulted that the man couldn’t tell the difference between them, but it didn’t seem to bother BAC. I realize he accepts this type of thing as normal. Then the 70s man looked at me, and it was like a magic potion came over him. He became mesmerized. He said, You’re not a student! No, no, I’m not, I say. He talks to me a little more and then says something to the equivalent that I can actually converse. By now he is holding my hand and rubbing my arm. He tells me how hard it is for him to meet women who can actually talk and who are not students. He says he is going to Turkey. I say, have a good trip. He says, Oh, I’m not leaving yet, and I plan to get to know you first….
So BAC gets the Babe and I get the 70-year-old man. How to impress your co-workers without really trying.
On the way home BAC was so excited. He said, I am a Black man. Check. Got that. And I can go anywhere I want to go in Greenville, but those young, white girls would not have been able to talk to us had you not been there with us. I say I wish it wasn’t so… but glad I could be of assistance.
It seems I can’t go out without having an experience to share….The day after the surprise birthday party a couple of weeks ago, a friend calls me and asks me if I can be ready in 30 minutes. Her kids were supposed to go to a Seafood Fest in another town but decided not to go and gave us the tickets. Off we go. It ended up being a couple’s date night thing so we mostly entertained ourselves observing. There was one Man in the White Sweater who I almost had my friend talked into approaching. Just as she started to take two steps toward him, a young woman came and swept him away. We just shook our heads and said, that just isn’t right. The Man in the Purple Shirt was wearing a wedding band and dancing with every woman available none of whom we thought were his wife. We disapproved. Just about this time a young woman came over to us and asked if were came alone. I should have known then. Yes, I say. She says how she moved to this beach community a year ago and has only made one friend. Her friends think she has the dream job working at the beach and she thinks it sucks. I empathize saying how hard it is to meet new people having just moved to a new town myself. I tell her to give me her phone number just in case we are in the area again, and I give her my business card. Really, what was I thinking? Big Mistake. She says, wait, let me go and get my friend. She does. Her friend comes over, looks at my friend, grabs her by the hands and whips her onto the dance floor doing the disco. My friend looks wildly at me. My jaw drops to the floor just at the same time this gal grabs my hands and whips me onto the dance floor. A moment of clarity. They think we are Gay. I’m thinking, OHMYGOD. Get me out of here. Just then Man in the Purple shirt starts dancing with the two of us. He looks at me, reaches in and plants a big kiss on my lips. Now we’re a threesome. The dance ends, I grab my friend, and out the door we go. Southern Sweetheart said those things happen to my friend all of the time. That’s why she needs to be chaperoned. Shees…..
A 70-year-old man and a Lesbian and one young man who liked my skirt……
Meanwhile the female ducks are no where to be found. The male ducks are all hanging out together, anxiously paddling around like expectant fathers. There are still two male ducks in the pool.
I’m coming home. Feel free to fill up my dance card. I am planning on being at our local watering hole for Friday night happy hour. I keep forgetting to tell you I have a land line now with unlimited long distance. I can’t remember my phone number. Since I’ve been here, I’ve had to remember two new work numbers, Xerox code, zip code and new pin number. I’m sure there are more. Unfortunately my co-workers do not have an understanding of brain fog. They just blankly stare at me. I don’t get the gentle nod of encouragement and patient understanding saying you can remember, just give it a moment. It’s more like, what is up with you?
That’s all for now. Love to you and see you soon.
Goodnight from Greenville, Dyanne
Dyanne is an inner wisdom coach, psychotherapist, writer, mind-body healer, Integrative Yoga Therapy teacher, certified “Journal-to-the SELF” instructor and creator of https://www.holywhollyholey.comhelping women heal and step into their power. She is the author of the ebook, “Holey Path to Holy Living: A Women’s Path to Healing and Freeing Sacred Feminine Power,” which can be found on Amazon and on her websitehttps://www.amazon.com/Holey-Path-Holy-Living-Feminine-ebook/dp/B01MUI0OOJ/ref=sr_1_13?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1486652110&sr=1-13&keywords=holy+path