A midlife woman I met recently in need of work and with a lifetime of professional experience shared that she sent out more resumes than she could remember with zero response. Zero. She is sure it’s her age. Just not right, I said to myself. We have so much to offer, I thought emphatically, in immediate defense of her and us collectively, the midlife and beyond women.
Really, do we hit an expiration “use by” date where we should be discarded or sold in some secondary market at a cheaper price? In a culture that values youth and perfection and has repurposed success and spirituality into phrases and brands like “Spiritual Gangster” and “Biz Babes” and gives advice in the literary form of, “Girl, Go Wash Your Face,” “You’re a Bad**s” and “UnF**k Yourself,” where do we midlife women fit in exactly? It seems as if we are caught at the crossroads of either giving into the perception that we are beyond our prime and putting on our frumpy, gag, or screaming, hey, we’re not done yet!
Well, hey, I’m not done yet and neither are you. Here’s why:
#1 Wisdom Galore
We midlife women should wear our wisdom like Wonder Woman wears her “W.” We know by now that life is a series of problems with solutions. There is always an answer. This means we don’t sweat the small stuff, for real. We’ve had enough life experiences to know problems tend to sort themselves out one way or another without adding an extra layer of drama. Wisdom trumps our technological deficits every time.
#2 Intuitive Masterminds
When we say we know, we really know. Women are wired for intuition which only gets better the older we get particularly after menopause. What’s important is we learn to trust our intuition, no second guessing or doubting. Practicality-wise our energy is not being used up by our multiple roles in life and the things that used to occupy our time like mothering small children while at the same time rising to the top of the corporate ladder. Been there. Done that.
#3 Productivity Machines
Our increased energy is masterfully directed by our own self-awareness. We plan our time according to our well-honed energy meters. We know how to manage time and use it productively. We factor in play, rest and relaxation the most important part of the productivity equation. This is really the secret our productivity, we create more play time. The lucky ones among use are no longer bogged down with menstruating, babies, carpools, homework and nightly dinners taking up our energy reserves. After menopause, we don’t go out to pasture. We have energy to spare.
#4 Perfectly Imperfect
We accept life as it is, not as it should be. We accept who we are without societal pressures to be someone else. Our minds are not cluttered by having to become someone dictated by others. There’s no need to prove ourselves. We care less about what other people think. We feel comfortable in our own skin. In fact, there’s an unstoppable midlife drive that sets in to be who we were always meant to be. I call that the “Soulfire Woman.”
#5 Dahling, It’s Not about You
We are not overly reactive, don’t take things personally and know life is a series of differing perceptions. We understand that people’s reactions, anger, defensive postures are related to underlying factors and choose our responses accordingly. We see others’ behaviors without adding judgment.
#6 Values Directed
We want more than anything to make a contribution to the good of (wo)mankind.
It’s not about achieving anymore. It’s about creating meaning, leaving a legacy, giving back. We want to be remembered for being loving, kind, for making life fun, for valuing the right things. We also value experiences not things. Accumulatingthings only means more stuff you have to get rid of when your kids don’t want them. Experiences put us in the feeling realm, they help us feel alive, keep us moving forward, give life meaning and purpose.
#7 No, No and No.
No, thank you. No, not now, not ever. No, not on your life. No, not for me. We are assertive enough to accept or decline. We value our time, particularly our play time, and definitely don’t want to waste it doing something unfulfilling. Every minute counts at midlife.
Competition is ego-driven, and we are Soul-driven. When we operate from our truth there’s no need to compete. We are already at our best living a completely authentic life. Truth always gets the better results.
#9 Confident with a Capital C
This comes from experience and wisdom of course, decades worth. It also comes from trusting our gut, knowing what we know and living an authentic life. It comes from knowing ourselves, our strengths, how we excel.
And the top reason midlife and beyond women rock?
We know now more than ever how to live in the moment with gratitude. We appreciate and take notice of everyday miracles, the smell of spring flowers, the deer in the yard, the birds singing, the smile of a grandchild. We look around, take a deep breath and say thank you.
Wow, all of a sudden, I feel like a hot commodity, don’t you, like I can proudly strut my stuff. I’m sitting taller in my chair, chin up, shoulders back and bobbing my head with attitude. Oh yeah!
Now that’s pretty badass.