Okay, it’s time to fess up. I let myself go during Covid. I had an internal dialogue with my over-achieving self and decided it was time to give her a break. Afterall, the gym was closed. It would only be a short period of time, I thought, until we get back into our normal routines.
Hmmm….I have a little extra time. Let’s start baking scones. Okay, I say to the part of myself already savoring the deliciousness of my new passion, giving my sweet tooth permission to be gratified.
Months stretched on. Sure, I walk my dog and do yoga. Somehow that wasn’t enough to keep the SPREAD from happening. There was probably a little extra wine in there too. Then my body rebelled. Too much yoga, it yelped and started sending discomfort into my SI joint. Slow down, it said, you are not as flexible as you once were. I said, shut up, but my body won the argument. It always does.
It’s not just Covid I say. You deserve this!! Right, I rationalized. I’ve been a crazy workout person most of my life. I’ve earned the right to slow down. Plus, it was getting more like work and less like enjoyment. I reached the point in my life when I could never win the battle of keeping my weight down no matter how much I worked out.
So, I gave in. I decided it was okay to look the way I did most naturally without the striving. Eat the scone, I told myself, enjoy your life.
Now here I am, jiggling all over the place. I had to order my underwear the next size up. I’m not sure if that makes me happy after all. Now I’m in a panic wondering if I can ever possibly make my way back. Every day is a constant battle between two opposing forces. The one that says it’s time to accept this is how it is, just get over it, and the one that says just WHAT have you done!!
Today, live your life won. I had a donut for breakfast.
Covid made me do it.
What is your opinion ladies? Should we accept our bodies as they are or continue the striving??
