Let’s play a game.
It’s called, the “if only” game. After each IF ONLY add, I would feel better about myself and love myself more.
If only I had more willpower….
If only I lost 20 pounds…
If only I exercised more…
If only I had flawless skin….
If only I didn’t have flabby thighs…
If only I didn’t make so many bad decisions…
If only I had a better career…
If only I had more social media followers…
If only I didn’t waste time and were more productive…
If only my relationship was different…
If only I had a relationship…
You get the idea.
What IF ONLY’s would you add?
If only…..Here’s what happens when you say these things to yourself. With every IF ONLY you are chipping away at self-love. When you chip away at self-love, it affects your confidence and the courage to be the woman you are meant to be. Your left feeling not only bad about yourself but stuck in a pattern of feeling less than and unfulfilled.
These are external validations of the Self. They come from outside of you. I know, I’m guilty of many of these things too. I still catch myself doing them from time to time. Ok, more times than I want to admit.
Yes, some of them make sense. If you did them, you might feel better.
They ARE NOT the secrets to self-love, though.
In essence you are giving your power away for someone else to decide for you. I did this in my first marriage.
I gave my power away to my husband to decide if I was thin enough, pretty enough, whatever enough. This may sound like you too, or maybe you give your power away to social media to decide how you measure up.
The SECRET to loving yourself more is to internally validate who you are. It’s feeling compassion for yourself even when you don’t hit the mark, especially when you don’t hit the mark, on some of these IF ONLY’s.
A fulfilling life is just on the other side… of self-love.
