I Just Gave Birth. At My Age.
The side of my leg has been aching lately. IT Band issue, they say. It gets worse at night. I’m a side sleeper with that side exposed to the air conditioning all night long.
In-between wakefulness and sleep this morning, I am acutely aware of the pain going down my leg. I finally drift back off to sleep and start to dream…
I am pregnant, a surrogate mother, and about to give birth. I feel the pain of the contractions. The midwife rolls me onto my side to help ease the discomfort. The soon-to-be-young mother stands off to the side waiting in anticipation for her baby, hoping I am okay and able to deliver without complications. She is so happy I was able to do this for her.
I wake up.
Whoa! Is this just a dream where I transferred my pain into story? What else could it mean I asked myself as I dove into my journal.
Is it me being worried about my daughter and her ongoing wish to have a baby? Is it me wanting to be of consequence, still wanting to give back and be of service.
Me, not wanting to be told I’m too old for certain things, that I’ve aged out. Me, wanting the younger generation of women to know my value and wisdom. Me, realizing there’s a lot of life left to challenge myself.
And then the obvious, am I birthing something new, not totally of my own creation and with the help of other women? Is it a collective birth for a nation of women??
I didn’t seem surprised by what I was doing in my dream, doing my duty, I thought. I had trouble waking up because my work was not yet complete. I still had to birth this baby.
I felt good in my dream. I told everyone I loved being pregnant. I didn’t mind the weight (another issue altogether; let’s not veer off there). Or, metaphorically maybe I didn’t mind holding the weight as in burden of pushing forward into the unknown. Could I do it?
Or, I didn’t mind the WAIT. Shees, so many places to go here.
All I know is I woke up feeling lighter. I transformed the pain. I had renewed energy.
I’m not done yet.
How about you? Are you done?
What would you do if age were not a factor?
Where do you still want to make a difference?
Where is one place you can challenge yourself TODAY?
Share in the comments below.
