My daughter had recently graduated from college and set out on her own path. I left my job a year or two earlier and started my own business, The Healing Space it was called, a dream come true. I would now have the freedom to travel with my husband. He traveled for his job our entire marriage while I held down hearth and home. We were about to celebrate 25 years together. I was so excited and looking forward to this next chapter in our lives.
But… my husband and I both imagined a different kind of freedom. Next thing you know I’m separated heading for divorce and scared out of my mind. Could I support myself? I left my good paying job; now what would I do? I felt like my business was at a tipping point but not to where I could take care of myself. I was frantic. I desperately needed to get back into a salaried position. Who was going to hire someone my age?
A friend worked providing therapy for military personnel and veterans and wanted me to work with her at the installation. She kept saying a job is opening, just wait. Six months came and went. Just wait turned into nearly a year of waiting. I applied for jobs elsewhere but did not get them.
During that time I waited, I kept consciously putting one foot in front of the other. I continued working at my business which was what kept me going emotionally. When my friend called and told me the hiring approval did not go through once again, and it would take a bit longer, I thought to myself, this is not and was never meant to be.
Meanwhile I kept my options open. I had been keeping an eye out for jobs in North Carolina where we had vacationed for years and felt like a second home to me. I thought I could heal there. This was not logical. North Carolina was four states away from where I had spent my entire life. I knew absolutely no one. Still, I was drawn there.
When I got the latest no-go from my friend, and no other jobs panned out, I gave myself permission to focus solely on North Carolina. What happened next felt like I waved a magic wand. In what seemed like a snap of my fingers, I landed an interview and then a job at a university counseling center. From start to finish, getting the interview, waiting for the outcome, and then moving was probably six weeks. It flowed. One piece after another fell into place including finding a place to live.
I had been trying to force an outcome that just wasn’t meant to be. The Universe had something else in mind for me and had to hit me over the head with a spiritual 2×4 to get me to move in the right direction.
Here is the thing. I started to apply to this same University position maybe six to eight months prior but didn’t follow through. They preferred PhDs which I didn’t have and hired two that round. When I did finally apply, the person they selected, their first choice, was a PhD level who declined the position at the very last minute. I was the second choice.
It was meant to be. Divine Right Timing. Now, you can look at that a couple of ways. Either I was not ready for the job when I first started applying and the universe gave me a year to get ready, or the job was not ready for me and asked me to wait. Either way works.
My intuition was right. I did heal there. I found my life partner. I wrote my book and eventually started a new business.
The year that I waited; it wasn’t just time spent worrying about what I was going to do to survive. The first thing I did was actively grieve what once was, my marriage and loss of my partner and best friend, our family life, my life as I knew it and security about my future, my business, my home plus the loss of friends and family connected to my husband. There was no way I would have been ready for that job.
During that year, I gained strength and got myself in a good enough place to think more clearly about what was to come. I leaned on my intuition to guide me. I kept putting things in place even though I didn’t know what was going to happen, when and how. I began the process of transferring my counseling license so I could practice in North Carolina, based on an intuitive hunch, just in case. When the time came, I was ready.
I kept putting one foot in front of the other, baby steps. Time felt like it stopped, but in reality it didn’t. I was actively moving forward while seemingly standing still.
I wish I could have let my worried self know I didn’t need to treat my life’s uncertainty as an emergency. When you are co-creating with something bigger than yourself, life is going to unfold in its own time. It was my ego, my anxiety that craved certainty. Not knowing is uncomfortable, scary even, I know. I had to learn to live in the present while answers had not yet arrived.
In the in-between, I had to stay connected to what made me feel alive, what sparked me. I didn’t wait for clarity to arrive. I kept moving. You never know where a micro-movement may lead you. The soul often unfolds through mystery . It rarely hands us a five-year plan. It gives us breadcrumbs to follow. Follow the breadcrumbs.
When you cannot see the way forward, your task is not to force clarity. Your task is to stay connected to yourself, your soul, and your life until the next step reveals itself. Focus on the next right step not the entire path.
This is not the time to abandon yourself and settle. It’s the time to treat yourself with extra care, to stay in belief and not let go of your dreams. Try not to place your life on hold while you’re waiting for clarity, permission, healing, money, a relationship, retirement, or the perfect opportunity. Keep nurturing yourself. Keep creating, learning, connecting, and living.
Remain open to being surprised. I thought I had a certainty in one job and a pipedream in another. I kept participating in life and stayed open to possibilities. Listen deeply to your intuitive soul-talk not your mind chatter.
And I know this sounds cliché’ but trust the timing. Trusting timing doesn’t mean be passive. It means continuing to grow, learn, heal, and take the next right step while recognizing that some doors open only when we are ready or when life is ready for us. Patience is part of the path. Patience is remaining engaged with your life while releasing the demand that everything happens on your preferred timeline. Patience is the willingness to nurture the dream without insisting on a deadline.
Trust that your life is still unfolding.
Trust that what is meant for you has not passed you by, no matter what age.
Trust that not yet doesn’t mean never.
And trust that even when you cannot see the path ahead, life is still guiding you toward the woman you are becoming.
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Soul Inquiry Bonus – The Wisdom Hidden Within the Longing
Soul Inquiry: The Wisdom Hidden Within the Longing
When we feel stuck, our attention naturally goes to what isn’t happening. We focus on the relationship that hasn’t arrived, the business that hasn’t grown, the opportunity that hasn’t appeared, or the clarity that remains elusive.
But what if the longing itself has something to teach us?
Rather than asking why your desire hasn’t manifested, spend a few moments reflecting on what it represents. Beneath every longing is often a deeper yearning of the soul. A desire for freedom, belonging, purpose, expression, adventure, peace, or love.
Take a quiet moment and ask yourself:
What am I truly longing for?
Then ask:
What is the deeper need or yearning beneath that longing?
Sit with whatever arises. Journal it. You may discover that your soul is seeking something far more profound than the goal itself. Sometimes the longing is not simply trying to take us somewhere. Sometimes it is trying to reveal something way more important.
