You are not your story. You are what you do with your story. And do much more.
I say this in my book, Soulfire Woman. It’s meant to let you know you can rise above, become the woman you were meant to be, no matter how your story began or where it is currently. The story is of feminine transformation and reigniting your Soulfire.
Stories are a part of our lives. We fill every day with stories, how our day went, what happened at the check-out line, the latest grievance with our partners. We tell stories to relate to one another. We tell stories about our past. Some of us live completely there, in our past. We dream about what comes next, imagining a story of our future.
We love to read other people stories, stories we relate to and apply to our lives helping us heal and understand others. We tell our children stories so that they may get the teaching or lesson in a way they can absorb and understand. We tell stories to keep memories alive of loved ones and hand down stories through the generations to keep us connected to our ancestors.
As women we sometimes really want to be heard and acknowledged, to be respected for who we are and all we have done or are doing. Stories validate our existence to ourselves and others.
Sometimes we tell stories from all the different parts of ourselves, the mother, maiden or crone, the wounded child, the critic, the super-achiever, the heroine….
There’s a secret knowing that lies within our stories though. They give us the exact coordinates of where we need to pinpoint our healing. If you want to know where you need to breakthrough to be who you want to be, listen to the stories you tell. A hidden gem waits for you there.
When I first began my healing journey my stories were all about being the victim, feeling trapped, not having choices or being able to act out of fear. Recognizing and changing the feeling of powerlessness is what the story of being a victim told me. After I became a psychotherapist, I also used to say I hold women’s stories until they are strong enough to hold them themselves.
When I listen to my mother, the stories she chooses to tell now, and repeat, are about how she is being singled out as being special, the one above the rest, better than. It almost pains me to hear them. I wonder what is beneath these stories, a life where she didn’t feel appreciated, or is it redemption for not always being as kind as she could have been and now wanting to be remembered in a better light?
My dad’s stories are always about being the hero, the guy who boldly comes in to save the day, like a cowboy in the old, wild west. He also tells stories about my daughter where he felt especially loved like it’s the only pure love he’s gotten in life.
What stories do your friends and loved ones tell? What are they really calling out for you hear?
My stories gradually changed over time to reflect more of the gratitude and wonderment I feel. I observe and tell stories about being human that teach and can make others cry and laugh. Sometimes I still need to tell stories about emotional pain as a way of working through it.
How about you, what are the stories you tend to tell most often?
What is the hidden gem beneath your story?
What is the new story you are ready to create and tell?
With Love,
PS- For more of the stories we like to tell, join my Soulfire Sisterhood FB group where we laugh and cry and heal and gently hold each other stories.
