How can you lead a fulfilling life, if life is so unfair?
Life is unfair.
Truly, it is. How many times have you stomped your foot, cried your tears and proclaimed how unfair some things are.
Many of us, me included, have felt just when it was our turn to live life as we fully desire, some THING happens to delay, deter, or shift our direction. It becomes all consuming.
Divorce after 25 years of marriage. Adult children with real-life problems like addiction or divorce. Aging parents who need our help. Past trauma that grabs a hold of us in the present just when we thought we were over it.
I remember I used to rail against life being unfair as a teenager and my young adult years. I truly thought life was supposed to be fair and wondered why things were happening to me. Why did I deserve this?
Then I came across a list of irrational beliefs we hold that cause us internal distress, anxiety, and depression even. One thing on the list that caught my attention was the belief that life should be fair.
Really, I thought? Life isn’t supposed to be fair? If I do all the right things, at all the right times, follow the rules, then things should be just as I want, need, imagine them to be. Wait, this isn’t how it works?
We spend a lot of time worrying about how to make our lives including ourselves perfect. Things we really have no control over when it would better serve us to be able to accept the hills and valleys. Not that we can’t get upset about the unfortunate turn of events and the pain it is causing us and still cry our eyes out.
Once I accepted that life was unfair, I began to realize more likely than not, I would learn something from the unfairness, a deeper truth about myself, an insight or spiritual lesson that came from it.
I came to experience self-compassion and throw a little extra love at myself for what I was going through.
Most importantly I learned empathy. I could feel for others in all that they might be experiencing. It made me a kinder, gentler and more understanding person.
I realized, as I say in my book, “Life doesn’t happen to us. It happens for us.”
Not that I’m wishing unfairness on you. Of course, I’m not.
My wish is for you to be able to feel the self-compassion, love and empathy that comes from a life lived fully with all of its ups and downs.
With Love and Gratitude,
Dyanne
