Regrets. I have a few.How many minutes of your day do you spend going over and over and regretting what you think are mistakes wishing you could make a different decision and change the outcome?
Do you at the end of every day ruminate about what you said and did, analyze and then reanalyze, searching for ways to improve?
Regrets are all the things you wish you had done differently.
We have little regrets every day. Like eating the chocolate cake or having an extra glass of wine. Choosing pizza because it’s quick instead of something healthy. Procrastinating. Binge-watching TV instead of reading a book. Skipping exercise. Again. Not working on your business and shooting for the stars.
Then there are the big regrets. The harsh words you said in the moment that you wish you hadn’t maybe with your kids or family members. The decisions you made like staying in a toxic relationship too long. The path you chose in your career or in love, and wish you had made the other choice.
Maybe staying silent when you think you should have spoken up. The one-night stand. Not keeping up with friendships and visiting that one last time before it was too late. Agreeing to things you thought were out of love and now realize you sacrificed yourself instead.
I feel you. If I search long and hard enough through my past, I probably have all of these regrets too.
And I beat myself up probably just like you.
Regrets Fall Into the Category of Self-Forgiveness
If only you had do-overs for the big regrets. Harsh as this reality is, you don’t. You can’t change what happened in the past. How does it serve you to keep beating yourself up for something you can’t change?
After first asking yourself what is underneath the need to hang onto the regret, this is what you can do next: You can begin a practice of empathy and understanding for yourself.
You can give yourself Grace for each time you think you failed yourself understanding what you may have been going through at the time. You can think about the lessons you learned as a result. You can tell yourself you are doing the best you can in any given moment. You can appreciate the path you’ve now taken as a result of those past decisions.
So tonight, before you go to bed, do this for yourself. Think about three things you really liked about your day instead of what went wrong. Smile. Take a deep breath.
That feels so much better, doesn’t it?
You deserve Grace.
With Love and Gratitude,
Dyanne
PS- I’m researching women and forgiveness and want to hear from as many women as possible. Please take a moment and fill out this anonymous, 5-minute, 5-question survey. Thank you! I appreciate you!
