Confessions from the Other Side...of 50
Give Up? Never!
This only sets my resolve even more. I will figure this out. I’m prying these plates apart if it’s the last thing I do. By now I’m trying to accept that I may have to throw away my favorite pie plate, one of those special pottery kinds, because of the mallet I may take to it.
After a week in the freezer, I try again. Not budging. Not even a little. Feeling desperate now I run it under the hottest water I can. Then I soak it. Cemented. What the H —E—Double L is in this crust?? This is no longer a cooking fail but a test of will.
Conversations With My Mom
She tells me she got herself a cake and invited the neighbors. How many came, I ask. Thirteen. All at once? It takes 10 more minutes to get an answer to this. No, she says, a couple at a time. Did they wear masks, I ask? Ten more minutes. Yes. Well, how did you eat the cake with your masks on? She starts laughing hysterically. We kept lifting up the masks for each bite and laughed at each other. It was fun, she said.
Covid, old folks style.
I’m No Prude
Recently, I posted a blog article on Elephant Journal, Meet Grace, My New Best Friend, about being kind to ourselves during this time of COVID 19. It is only after I send out my blog to everyone I know on the planet that I realize, when you click on the link for the article, the ad at the top of EJ page is for vibrators.
Mindfulness Messages From My Body
Confessions From The Other Side... of 50 I begin this new decade with a broken toe and a cold… After spending the night in a Norfolk hotel room, I slip out of bed and grab the cup of coffee waiting for me on the nightstand. My Guy does that for me, gets me a cup of...
If The Dress Fits…Or Not, Wear It
I confess. Never before have I bought a dress that deliberately did not fit me. Until the Mother-of-the-Bride dress. Darling Daughter sends me a picture of a dress online that I love. I walk into the bridal shop and begin describing the style of dress. The shop owner...
It’s All Perfect Darling! Confessions from the Other Side…of 50
by Dyanne Kelley May 2018 Are you freakin' kidding me! On three separate occasions I started this blog in my mind each prompted by a personal outrage. Let’s start with are you freakin’ kidding me number two. It was Darling Daughter’s bridal shower this past...
The Dreaded Encounter with Your EX and the Universe Has Your Back
by Dyanne Kelley March 22, 2018 The dreaded encounter with my EX, the one every divorced, separated, dumped gal fears. I’ve sat opposite many broken hearts as a psychotherapist, and inevitably, the topic always comes around to, What if I bump into him? What if...
You Can Call Me Crone | Confessions from The Other Side of 50
Wearing the Crone Crown Proudly Well Girls, it happened. The Big Birthday. I turned 60. I guess if Ellen can do it on national TV, I can do it too. From Midlife to Crone in the blink of an eye. Did you know you can decide when you want to be a Crone? It’s when you...
Holy Mother Goddess
Honestly, I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. If you recall, I tried to get into someone’s else’s car thinking it was mine. Twice. My guy calmly and politely said, honey that’s the wrong car. I’ve mistakenly been wearing under eye cover as eye primer for weeks. It works by the way. Today I put eye liner on my eyebrows and wondered why it was so dark. I can’t keep the stuff from smudging when it’s under my eyes but try to get it off of your eyebrows, sheesh. Here’s the worst though.
Be Careful What You Wish For
Hello Gals! I did not have the most stellar of work days recently. I’m going to blame it on my underwear. A couple hours into it I discovered my underwear was on inside out. You should know you’re going to have that kind of day when the cotton is on the outside. I...
It All Makes Sense
Dear Diva’s, My Guy’s been cracking me up lately. We are at Lowes where he asks for help with light bulb selection. Buying a light bulb requires an advanced degree these days. The Lowes guy is sooo nice to us, My Guy decides to treat this person as his personal...
I Can’t Breathe
Hey Gals, So about those Spanx yoga pants. I decided if I was going to get use out them I would wear them around the house. I am wearing them now. Only I can’t think. Apparently when your pants suck the air out of you, your brain is deprived of oxygen. After I took...
Goodnight From Greenville (only I’m at the beach)!
And So It Begins....Again Hey Gals, I did it!! I finally quit my job and moved to the beach, my dream come true!! You all certainly have been the keepers and holders of my vision for some time. Thank you!! Now that I’m here I’m wondering why in Goddess’s name would I...
MenoPAUSE
Greetings my friends from way down South!! Truly I am sorry for being absent so long. My first excuse is MenoPAUSE. Life as I knew it is no longer. You know you're in menopause when you swipe your grocery store card to get into the gym. Twice. Maybe three times....
The Not So Good Very Bad Day
My beloved dog Buster Brown is now in dog heaven with his big sister Murphy Brown. He died last evening after coming to the end of a long life, one month shy of 13. A New Year's Eve pup, he came into our lives one week after I said, No More Pets! He was supposed to be...
The Not So Good Very Bad Day Continued…
....And as I was saying my goodbye to Buster, My Guy's best friend in Greenville, Charlie, was undergoing emergency surgery for a stroke following other complications. The doctors were heroic and after four- and -a -half hours had taken miraculous measures to save his...
Doctors Say the Funniest Things
Hey Gals, Miss me? I sure miss you. I’ve been here almost two years, and I still look forward to my doctor’s visits as social occasions. I can always count on my gynecologist to show me a good time. She lowers her voice and asks me if I’m still getting my period. Yes,...
A New Year
Greetings my dearest friends. So sorry for the hiatus. First and foremost, let’s take a moment of reverence for our friend, Dianne, one of the first journal group members, who has crossed over and blesses us from the other side….Amen Sister. You are loved. I knew I...
First Date
Hey Gals,I know, I know, my latest epistle is very overdue. There were a few weeks in there where I hit a low point. No one thing in particular, just an accumulation of small occurrences. I actually thought for a while there that I might be clinically depressed. But...
OH the Predicaments
Girls, Girls, Girls, Another whirlwind trip to PA over the weekend, first for my nephew’s wedding. I was nervous about this since it is my soon-to-be ex’s side of the family and the first time that I would see everyone with them all knowing the truth about us. The...
Oreo Cookie
Hey Gals, My Brother of Another Color last Friday said he was coming off of an on-call week and the first thing he was doing was getting a drink, and I could come if I wanted. Sure, I say, I'll go with you. We meet close to my house and share a couple of drinks and...
Major Movement and Minor Miracle
Hey Gals, Or is it Minor Movement and Major Miracle. The good news IS I do not have pulmonary hypertension according to the echocardiogram recently done here. My doctor emailed me the results. I emailed back and asked if I was cleared to scuba dive. She said she’s...
Road Hazards
Hey Gals, TODAY, I almost hit a Pelican. It must be a driving hazard of life that they forget to tell you about. I decided to take a drive to the beach. Usually I go this time of year to open the house for renters, getting it ready and so on. It rained so there...
Hey Guess What, You’re My Friday Night Date
You know you're desperate when you go the dentist and treat it like a social engagement and leave there thinking you had a great time. The dental hygienist hung out with me at the checkout counter and said, it's been fun. Yes it has, I say. Too bad I only get to go...
Day Five
I am on Day 5 of my on-call duties and mandatory alcohol abstinence. So far no calls. Two more days to go. I may have to have a martini lunch on Friday. Kidding. Maybe.
WHAT!
WHAT!!! No Grey's Anatomy due to College Basketball playoffs!! Is that just here or everywhere? And no Fastnacht Day either. The folks here didn't even know what I was talking about. No tradition of donuts, not even pretend Fastnachts. I settled for Krispy Kreme...
Quickie
Not that kind. Ok, so now I know I am going to be all right at my job. During our first staff meeting, the classiest, funniest and hardest working member among us, who happens to be the oldest, (I am the next oldest by the way), said a client told her she found a...
All Is Right With The World
All better Girlfriends. My hiatus without Dance It Off music has ended. My Bose remote came yesterday in the mail, although when I plugged it in last night, it didn't work. It's not the outlet, I said, because that is the same outlet the TV is plugged into. Today I...
The Luckiest Girl Around
Hey Peeps, Right now I feel like the luckiest girl, ever. If I told you the details of how everything is just clicking into place for me like a puzzle I've already put together a hundred times, you wouldn't believe it. But then again you would because that is how...
Let the Experiences Begin
Dear Diva's: My realtor, a She who may be a He, or a He who may be a She (will let you know about that tomorrow), recommended an independent hotel in the city. I'm thinking quaint, downtown, brick sidewalks...no, think more like the Pennsylvania Carlisle Pike, a...
